On being the servant-leader in my relationship
The unexpected benefits of surrendering control
Alpha males and the women who love them
Not all men will get it unless you explain
Patience, integrity…and being a little sweet always helps
Girl alpha seeks all man alpha
Too feminine?
My life, my choice
Is she afraid of losing control?

So, there was this cute, skinny chick I knew in college. She seemed cool, but I never really spent much time talking to her or getting to know her. I’d see her and friends in the cafeteria or around campus all the time and say “what’s up” to them, but I never really thought twice about it.

Then one day over the summer, I get a Facebook message from her saying something along the lines of “you’re cute”.

I tried to respond and get at her, but she responded by referencing my relationship status and said something like, “I don’t break up happy homes, hit me up when you’re single….”

After that, I got rid of the status and her and I wound up talking on the phone a bit. We actually lived in the same apartment complex and she made some cookies or something one night and invited me over pretty late. So, I go over there and we wind up hanging out on her bed, just talking.

I don’t know how it came up, but at some point in the conversation she asks me about my boy Nickle, “Are you cool with Nickle?”

“Yeah, that’s my boy!”


“Why you ask that?”

“Umm…. him and I kind of fuck around… I didn’t know y’all were cool like that.”

Damn, so she’s fucking a good friend of mine. I don’t know why she tells me this, but I instantly regret that she did. I also regret claiming him so enthusiastically, “Yeah, that’s my boy!” Smh.

She doesn’t stop there, she also goes on to mention that she used to fuck some dude on the basketball team at our school. I have no idea why she admitted these two things to me, but I try my best to just ignore them and not pass judgement or anything..

After hanging out, drinking kool-aid and eating cookies with her, I head back to my place without really trying anything.

Shortly after, she winds up leaving school and transferring to a school in our hometown (she was from the same city as me) and I don’t see her again for awhile, probably a year at least.

As much as we hung out, Nickle never mentioned her to me or that he was fucking with her or anything of the sort, but I did talk to his cousin about it once. Nickle’s cousin, who was also a friend of mine, told me, “Yeah, they’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend, I see the shit they text each other. They’re basically together, but she’s sexy, you should definitely fuck her if you have a shot at it.”

I wind up getting in another relationship, and as soon as that status gets put on Facebook, I get another message from her, “no wonder y i havent heard 4rm u!!! good luck wit dat”

A month later, my girl and I break up and I get a message from her again on Facebook…. inviting me to her birthday party. But, I can’t make it because I was going to Washington DC for the weekend, but I tell her I’ll hit her up when I get back to town…. which I do.

I get to town late at night and hit her up. She says she’s at her aunt’s house, but invites me over… it’s about 11:30 PM. I go over there. Everybody else in the house is asleep, she takes me upstairs and we wind up chilling on the upstairs couch watching TV. We wind up watching this movie called Getting Played on VH1 or something (It’s actually pretty funny, it’s about 3 chicks – Vivica Fox, Stacey Dash and Carmen Electra make a bet to see which one of them is the best in bed…. I should probably watch it again, lol)

After the movie, I go for the gusto….

I roll on top of her and start licking on her neck, etc. First I get the “You’re a freak!” lines….. followed by the “I can’t, you just broke up with that girl, it wouldn’t be right, it wouldn’t be fair to her!”

I try to appease that by saying something like, “But, her and I are broken up… so what’s the problem? That’s over with…”

I chill for a second and then go back to trying. Licking and kissing on her neck and chest, this time she pulls out the big guns, “But, y’all are friends!! You went to New York together!!” She doesn’t say a name, but of course I know she’s talking about my boy Nickle, who I had gone to New York with earlier that year… and pictures from that trip were all over Facebook….

I try to play stupid, “I don’t even know what or who you are talking about…”

“Uh huh, sure you don’t…” At this point, she curls up into a ball and is really not letting me do anything.

I give her a couple of light kisses, but I see she’s not going for it. So, I decide to go ahead and go. It’s damn near 2AM now…

She walks me out to the car and gives me a long hug in the driveway and I grab her ass with both hands during the hug. She tells me to call her and then I leave…

That was over 3 years ago. We probably spoke on Facebook, Myspace and the phone a couple of times shortly after that, but I never made any effort to hang out with her again, so I haven’t seen her since.

Nickle and I remain good friends, but he never did mention her to me. Then again, I never mentioned her to him either…